05.30.05, 1:37 p.m.

Bitter

Scars cover my body inside and out
I can't help but feel I am still the samegurl
I wanted so badly to alter this reality
for mychild
for myself
but I am still the samegurl
his eyes remind me that we are still in love
I wonder why I'm afraid
takehimback
His child in my arms
in my life
reminds me that we made love
everyday

everywhere
He meant it
and his eyes just remind me
I question my reflection
am I still that samegurl?
I push him away
he doesn't fight anymore
maybe what we had was never enough
my child smiling up at me
reminds me
we had more than enough
I'm afraid to hurt the way he made me hurt
and he can't reassure me that he didn't mean it
innocence and happiness seem like lies
my sons laughter fills my ears
questions
and I wonder again
am I not the samegurl?

lost - dreams